By Rankin Wilbourne, Lead Pastor

Do you know what your DARFS are?

Last week I had the privilege of listening to one of my heroes, Skip, speak about “The Longest Journey.” The title of his talks is from Pascal’s dictum that the longest journey a person ever makes is from his head to his heart.

Healing begins with honesty. What does honesty look like? In our core, our motivations? “If you hide what is within you it will kill you, but if you bring it out it will heal you.”

We are relentless self-hiders. Or as Joseph Conrad put in Lord Jim, “No man understands his own artful dodges to escape the grim shadows of self-knowledge.”

So much of our present and how we think about our lives has been shaped by our past. Life has to be lived facing forward, but it can only be understood looking backward. To come to terms requires the difficult work of uncovering the ways we have become dishonest, the “brilliant disguises” (Springsteen), the fig leaves we use to cover up our shame – our fears. Skip told the story of Connie Chung asking her parents to drop her off a block from school, “so no one would know I’m Chinese.”

Have you thought about how your past has shaped you?
How those words shaped you?
When you started acting?
Playing a part?
Having a false self?
The imposter.

If Jesus still has His scars, why don’t we still have ours? It may be a cliché, but it’s true: your mess is your message.

Skip challenged us to dig under the “presenting sins” in our lives to uncover, what he called, “the dispositions of the heart.” The soil, to use a biblical metaphor. The ways you have become so accustomed to living that you tell yourself, “That’s just the way I am.” “That’s just the baggage I carry and always will.”

That’s a LIE.

Yes, your past has shaped you, but it doesn’t have to define you or your future. You don’t have to carry those bags around or any further. You can leave them by the side of the road.

“You can see sin lying dead at your feet,” says John Owen.

The deeds of the flesh can be mortified. Your DARFS can be put to death.

So what are DARFS? That’s Skip’s specific acronym for his “besetting sins.” What Tim Keller has called “the sin under the sins.” They vary from person to person. But these are the motivating “idols” – core lies – that we do battle with each day.

I think it might be helpful for you if I list Skip’s acronym:

D – Dishonesty
D – Discontent – This is a big one for me.

A – Approval of Others – Living for their applause, their recognition, my significance.
A – Anxiety – The low-grade, constant sort that keeps me worrying.
A – Anger – Simmering, sometimes lashing out in totally disproportionate ways.

R – Resentment – Drinking poison and wondering why the other guy doesn’t die. Envy.

F – Fear – Profound fear. “I was afraid,” the 3rd servant said. (Matthew 25:25)

S – Self-Pity – No one understands me or the sacrifices I make. I’m entitled therefore.

How do you know what your DARFS are? I expect that the first 2 or 3 words in our own acronym can be named pretty easily by most of us. The last 2 or 3 take more time, almost always the help of candid friends, and usually (not always, not necessarily, but usually) professional help.

My wife and I are going to begin the difficult process of naming our DARFS. We are each coming up with our own acronym that points to the areas where we want to see Christ heal us, the dispositions of the heart that are robbing us of Peace and Joy, Love and Trust.

There’s no way for me to reproduce how helpful this is for me as a way to name where I need to be healed. But naming is only the beginning. It’s the most important step, but only the beginning. How do we mortify, put to death, our DARFS?

To be continued…